Friday, January 30, 2009

Buddy Holly Plane Crash 50th Anniversary

Buddy Holly was one of the greatest figures of rock & roll and one of its most tragic losses. The anniversary of his death is February 4th, but I figured I'd have more time to post something now.

3 songs by the man himself:
"Maybe Baby" (American Graffiti Original Soundtrack)
The joy of a simple pop song. What's also interesting about this song is the uncertainty. It's not "we're happy and in love." It's "maybe I'll have you for me."

"Dearest" (Down the Line Rarities)
This is on the Juno soundtrack. It's a very simple, sweet love song.

"(You're So Square) Baby I Don't Care" (Buddy Holly)
The first "hip to be square." It's also a clear precursor to "Can't Explain."

Some Covers:
The Beatles: "Words of Love" (Beatles for Sale)
The Beatles idolized Buddy Holly. In fact, their name was a play on his Crickets. This is basically Buddy Holly's song with very little interpretation on the Beatles' part, but they do a nice job with it.

M. Ward: "Rave On" (Hold Time)
This is a great cover. It's a very unique and yet clearly reverent interpretation of one of Holly's classics. Get this album when it comes out on February 17 because from the leaks I've heard it is really really good.

The Rolling Stones: "Not Fade Away" (Big Hits: High Tides and Green Grass)
I used to listen to this compilation all the time on vinyl.

Blondie: "I'm Gonna Love You Too" (Parallel Lines)
This sounds like a Blondie song, but it is, in fact, a Buddy Holly cover. It is simply a perfect pop song.

Tributes/Inspirations/etc.:
Weezer: "Buddy Holly" (Weezer)
Buddy Holly looked like a gigantic nerd which was part of the reason that he is so fascinating, the nerd who drove the girls wild. And this song is all about a nerd being bullied because he looks like Buddy Holly.

Bob Dylan: "Most Likely You'll Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine" (Blonde on Blonde)
Dylan loved Buddy Holly before he loved protest songs, old blues songs, and Romantic poetry. There is a simple Buddy Holly pop side to Dylan that occasionally comes on out on songs such as this.

Elvis Costello: "You Belong to Me" (This Year's Model)
Elvis Costello looks a lot like Buddy Holly and the similarities don't end there. He's a nerdy awkward-looking guy who is both confidently suave and neurotic in the same song.

Simon & Garfunkel: "The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" (Parsley Sage Rosemary & Thyme)
A simple pop song with a Buddy Holly innocence and beauty to it.

The Ramones: "I Want You Around" (Hey! Ho! Let's Go: The Anthology)
Joey Ramone always had a soft cuddly pop side to him. He loved Phil Spector, girl groups, surf rock, and Buddy Holly. This is one example of the Ramones playing a song that wasn't about sniffing glue or scoring "Chinese rock."

The Velvet Underground: "Here She Comes Now" (White Light White Heat)
There is a definite Buddy Holly-side to Lou Reed's songwriting. When he isn't writing about heroin and sadomasochism, he sometimes graces us with a pop gem such as this.

The Who: "I Can't Explain" (Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy)
As I said before, "(You're So Square) Baby I Don't Care" is clearly this song's predecessor. I love this period of the Who before they became an arena rock band.

UPDATE!!!

Of the highest importance:
Paul Bako has returned to the Cubs
No I will not be doing a blurb about him because this is just too depressing. Why can't Koyie "Table Saw" Hill get a shot? At least he has an interesting back-story.

Also... Apparently the Cubs are working on a deal to send Rich Hill to the Orioles in exchange for a minor leaguer or two. Now, when I said I wanted to trade for Jake Peavy, I didn't mean I wanted to trade away Rich Hill. I am saddened by these offseason moves that have traded away Cubs that I've grown attached to (Wood, DeRosa, Pie, Hill) for uninspiring, boring veterans (Gregg, Miles, Heilman). I guess the Bradley signing almost makes up for that. He better provide plenty of unintentional comedy, like Manny-level. I expect no less from you, Mr. Monopoly.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Monster Cubs Spring Training Preview

Let's assume for the moment that Peavy is not traded to the Cubs. While that would be quite sad for me, it would add an extra bit of intrigue to this year's Spring Training. Without further ado...

The Fifth Starter Question:
Z, Harden, Dempster, and Lilly will be the front-four of the rotation, but who's going to be the fifth starter? Here are some possible names:

Chad Gaudin
Vital Stats: Born 1983 in New Orleans, righty
Fun Facts: In 2007, he had to have a sesamoidectamy to have his sesamoid bone removed (thank you, Podiatry Today!). This is apparently his girlfriend (left).
Major League Debut: August 1, 2003
Ranked the 6th best Devil Rays' prospect of 2004, Drafted in the 34th round of the 2001 draft by Tampa Bay
Experience: He started for a full season in '07, but spent most of '08 in the bullpen. His best season was in 2006 when he spent the full year as a reliever.
Best Known For: Part of the trade that sent Harden to the Cubs in exchange for Sean Gallagher and Matt Murton. Piniella knew him from his days on the Rays. He once threw a perfect 7 inning game in AA Jacksonville back in 2003.
Scouting: Sportsnet calls him "fearless" with good slider. He can "get out of jams." Control seems to be his biggest issue. He's projected as a "decent mid-rotation starter."

Angel Guzman
Vital Stats: Born 1981 in Caracas, Venezuela, RHP
Fun Fact: His brother Daniel Guzman is a drummer in the Venezuelan rock band Subsonus (I hope he's the fat one)
Major League Debut: April 26, 2006
Ranked the Cubs #1 Prospect in 2004, originally signed by the Kansas City Royals in 1999
Experience: 14 major league starts. In '06, he had 10 and struggled mightily with a 63 ERA+ and a 1.88 WHIP.
Best known for: He's often been thought of as having some of the most talent in the Cubs organization. In the 2003 Spring Training, when asked who the best Cubs pitcher was, Wood, Prior, or Zambrano, Barry Bonds answered, "Angel Guzman." He is also injured a ton, suffering everything from serious shoulder problems to arm cramps. He finally had a Tommy John surgery two years ago.
Scouting: He's ranked pretty high all around, but gets a high mark for Strike Out Rating and a low for Control. Sportsnet calls him a "solid mid-rotation starter, if healthy."

Kevin Hart
Vital Stats: Born 1982 in Cleveland, Ohio (bummer, man), right handed
Fun Facts: No relation to the other Kevin Hart
Major League Debut: September 4, 2007
Ranked the Cubs 10th best prospect in 2008, originally drafted in the 10th round of the 2004 draft by Baltimore.
Experience: None starting in the majors. He seems to have transitioned to a relief role, only starting in 10 games at AAA last season.
Best Known For: He was the Player to Be Named Later in the Freddie Bynum trade with the Orioles. I think we can pretty much declare the winner of that trade, no matter what Hart ends up doing. He came out of nowhere in 2007 and blew away Piniella in 8 games to make the postseason roster.
Scouting: He is ranked very highly for K-Rate. His control could be improved. Sportsnet calls him a "solid middle reliever or spot starter."

Aaron Heilman
Vital Stats: Born 1978 in Logansport, Indiana. Right-hander
Major League Debut: June 26, 2003
Ranked the Mets' best prospect in 2002. Drafted in the first round of the '01 draft by the Mets.
Experience: He has made exactly 0 starts in the last three years. He did very well in middle relief in '06 and '07 before having a dreadful '08.
Best Known For: A top Mets prospect who never really panned out as a starter. He seemed to have transitioned nicely into his relief role, but last year he served a pretty major role in the Mets' bullpen implosion and was conveniently scapegoated, first getting sent to the Mariners for J.J. Putz last month and now to the Cubs for Ronny Cedeno and Garrett Olson. He has admitted his preference to starting.
Scouting: According to Sportsnet, has a "snarling splitter" and "works effectively on little rest." His command needs work. He is projected as a "very good setup man if he wants it."

Rich Hill
Vital Stats: Born 1980 in Boston, Mass.
Major League Debut: June 15, 2005
Ranked the Cubs' 6th best prospect of 2006. Originally drafted in the 4th round of the 2002 draft by the Cubs.
Experience: Made 16 starts in 2006, then was part of the Cubs rotation for all of 2007, leading the team in strike outs and posting a very respectable 108 ERA+. In '08, he made only 5 starts before being sent back down to the minors.
Best Known For: Hill looked like he was becoming the next great Cubs' starter after his '07 season, but he suffered a Dave Chappelle-esque breakdown last year (possibly the result of the Cubs' attempt to change his delivery). He only started seven more games in the minors last year and struggled.
Scouting: He gets a perfect score for K-Rate from the Baseball Cube, but is well below average for control. Sportsnet.ca ranks him as a "solid mid-to-late rotation lefty."

Sean Marshall
Vital Stats: Born 1982 in Richmond, Virginia, pitches left-handed
Fun Fact: His twin brother Brian also plays baseball in the Red Sox organization.
Major League Debut: April 9, 2006
Ranked the Cubs 6th best prospect of 2006, originally drafted in the 6th round of 2006 by the Cubs
Experience: Made 24 starts in '06, 19 in '07, and 7 in '08. His numbers have improved each year, but he has also become used more frequently as a reliever than as a starter.
Best Known For: He was a relatively unknown prospect in '06, but made the starting rotation after an excellent Spring Training. He's been pretty dependable filling in for injuries since then.
Scouting: He has pretty good marks all around, with a high in Efficiency and a low in Control. He's not going to wow anyone with his stuff, but he does pretty well with what he's got. Sportsnet.ca projects him as a "good back of the rotation lefty."

Jeff Samardzija (AKA "Shark")
Vital Stats: Born 1983 in Merrillville, Indiana
Major League Debut: July 25 2008
Ranked the 3rd best Cubs prospect and the 80th best prospect in baseball in 2007, Drafted in the 5th round of the 2006 draft by the Cubs
Experience: None as a starter. His best work as a professional pitcher has been at the major league level in '08 as a reliever. Starting in the minors he struggled both in '07 and '08.
Best Known For: Star Notre Dame wide receiver who figured to be a first-day pick in the NFL draft. He can hit 95 on the speed guns like it ain't no thang. Sharky transitioned nicely to the majors last year, adding some fire to the bullpen.
Scouting: The pros: an "electric arm." The cons: must "improve stamina." Sportsnet projects him as a "mid-rotation starter or closer."

... As you can see, there are no clear front-runners here. None of these guys were primarily starters last year. Guzman and Hill are probably the most talented, but Guzman is a physical concern and Hill is a mental case. I would personally love to see Hill get another chance, but it will be interesting to see how this pans out. The worst case scenario here still has to be better than Glendon Rusch or even probably Jason Marquis.

Second Base?
I don't foresee too many lineup battles this Spring Training. Second base is one of the few. Here are the two contestants for the job:

Mike "Little Lord" Fontenot
Vital Stats: Born 1980 in Slidell, Louisiana, Lefty
Not So Fun Fact: Wow! He was on the 2000 LSU College World Series Champion team with Ryan Theriot. Seriously? I haven't heard this every single time the Cubs are nationally broadcast? Fuck you Joe Morgan. No really. Fuck you.
Major League Debut: April 13 2005
Ranked the Orioles 6th Best prospect in 2003. Drafted in the first round of 2001 by the Orioles.
Experience: He took on a bigger role last year and did shockingly well, posting a 131 OPS+ (that is fucking good) in 119 games.
Best Known For: He was traded from the O's for Sammy Sosa (Jesus, we do a lot of deals with the Orioles). He does this ridiculous pre-game ritual with Z. He's got some pop in his bat for a small dude.
Scouting: Still Sportsnet is pretty low on him, calling Fontenot "a scrappy overachiever" who "lacks power" and "speed." They project him as a "backup second baseman." I don't know if I agree with this assessment, considering his '08 season, but it is clear he needs to improve his fielding.

Aaron Miles
Vital Stats: Born 1976 in Pittsburg, Cali. Switchhitter.
Fun Facts: His family is Greek so he originally made the Greek roster for the '04 Olympics before backing out. He has made three pitching appearances, including two perfect innings.
Major League Debut: September 11, 2003
Drafted in the 19th round of the '95 draft by the Astros.
Experience: Last year was his best year by far, but it still was only average by most standards. He can play second, shortstop, and third, but is primarily a second baseman with average fielding statistics.
Best Known For: He's a journeyman utilityman who signed a two year deal with the Cubs this offseason.
Scouting: He's a "consistent contact" hitter. He is perhaps an overconfident baserunner and can get tricked by good pitchers. Sportsnet calls him a "quality utility infielder."

...Since Fonty hits lefthanded and Miles can hit righty, this may turn into a platoon situation, which is fine so long as Fontenot gets more of the at-bats. Miles is a very very poor man's DeRosa. Hopefully Fonty can continue his progress in '09.

Centerfield?
It appears that Soriano will stay in left and Milton Bradley will replace Fukudome in right field. So who will win the center field job. The contestants:

Kosuke Fukudome
Vital Stats: Born 1977 in Osaki, Kagoshima, Japan, lefty
Major League Debut: March 31, 2008
Ranked the 30th Best prospect in baseball for 2008. Signed by Cubs from the Chunichi Dragons in 2008.
Experience: Started out great in '08 but faded quick, as pitchers seemed to figure him out. His patience seemed to spread to the rest of the team, but by the end of the season, he could barely hit a single anymore.
Best Known For: The Cubs first big Japanese import. The rare first-year All Star who was deemed a bust by the end of the year.
Scouting: He is known for great fielding and patience, but he needs to improve his contact and his power numbers have dropped dramatically in the US.

Joey Gathright
Vital Stats: Born 1981 in Hattiesberg, Mississippi, bats lefthanded
Major League Debut: June 25, 2004
Ranked the 87th best prospect in the majors in '05 and the Devil Rays' 3rd best prospect. Drafted in the 32nd round of 2001 by Tampa Bay
Experience: He played 134 games in the majors in 2006. His best statistics were posted in '07 when he only played 74 games in the majors. He still has failed to demonstrate starting-level production at the major league level.
Best Known For: He is one of if not the fastest player in baseball and has been known to jump over cars. Really. The Cubs signed him this offseason after he was non-tendered by the Royals, which is never a good sign.
Scouting: He makes "consistent contact," but lacks patience, power, and has a weak arm. That makes him a bench player at best, despite his ridiculous speed, in all probability.



Reed Johnson
Vital Stats: Born 1976 in Riverside, Cali, right-handed
Major League Debut: April 17, 2003
Drafted in the 17th round in 1999 by the Blue Jays
Experience: His best year was 2006 and he missed time with injuries in '07 and had a down year. Last year, the Cubs picked him up right before the season started and he played well all season, platooning first with Felix Pie and then Jim Edmonds. He has primarily played center and leftfield.
Best Known For: He is known as a tough guy and is consistently among league leaders in the Hit By Pitch category. He's the kind of guy who is always fighting for playing time, but usually does well when given a chance.
Scouting: Sportsnet calls him a "good outfielder" who makes contact and hits well with runners on base. He struggles against right handers and lacks the patience to be a good leadoff hitter. He is projected as a good platoon or fourth outfielder.

So we may see another platoon developing here, probably between Fuku and Johnson, with Gathright being used primarily as a pinchrunner and defensive replacement. The Cubs will need Fukudome to improve.

Closer?
Since Kid K is gone (tear) and so is Howry (thank God), this will come down to two:

Kevin Gregg
Vital Stats: Born 1978 in Corvallis, Oregon, pitches right handed
Major League Debut: August 9, 2003
Drafted in the 15th round of 1996 by the A's
Experience: Has been the closer the past two years for Florida, saving 32 games in '07 and 29 last year. His numbers are good but unremarkable, but he has seemed to have done his best since becoming a closer.
Best Known For: He was traded from the Marlins for Jose Ceda this offseason.
Scouting: Sportsnet calls him "occassionally overpowering." He needs rest to stay fresh and can get in trouble by giving up too many walks. He is projected as a "decent closer."

Carlos "Marmolade" Marmol
Vital Stats: Born 1982 in Bonao, Dominican Republic, pitches right handed
Fun Fact: Signed as a catcher before being converted to a pitcher in the minors.
Major League Debut: June 4, 2006
Signed as an undrafted free agent by the Cubs in 2006
Experience: He wasn't converted to a reliever until 2007 and got only seven saves in '08. He has excelled in any role he has been put in since returning to the majors in 2007, but has been especially good getting out of jams and in late-inning relief.
Best Known For: He is the Cubs most talented reliever and possibly most talented pitcher overall (although Harden and Sharky may come close).
Scouting: He "throws hard with good movement." His biggest problem can be control.

Based on skills alone, this one should go to Marmol, but Gregg has proved to be a pretty decent closer, and Marmol may be better suited to (and more useful in) a setup role.

The Bullpen?
Besides the guys I've already mentioned in the running for the fifth starter and closer battles, there aren't too many sure things in the bullpen. Here are the guys who will be duking it out for the spots:

Jose Ascanio
Vital Stats: Born 1985 in Maracay, Venezuela, throws right handed
Major League Debut: July 13, 2007
Signed as an undrafted free agent by the Braves in 2001
Experience: He has appeared in 19 games over the last two years and has struggled in his limited experience. In the minors he had an excellent '07, recording 10 saves, a 2.54 ERA, 1.08 WHIP in 44 games (10 games started), but last year he struggled, posting a 5.10 ERA and 1.41 WHIP.
Best Known For: Traded by the Braves for Will Ohman and Omar Infante last year.
Scouting: Sportsnet comments that he has a "live arm and the repertoire to be an effective reliever." He needs to work on control and he is also "hittable." They project him as a "solid setup man."

Neal Cotts
Vital Stats: Born 1980 in Lebanon, Illinois, throws left handed
Major League Debut: August 12, 2003
Ranked the White Sox' 3rd best prospect of 2004, drafted in the 2nd round of 2001 by the A's
Experience: After appearing in 70 games in '06, he has only played in 66 over the past two years for the Cubs. Last year, however he showed some return to form, posting a 104 ERA+, but his WHIP of 1.43 was still mediocre. He is not a good left handed specialist (though that's how he's probably going to be used) since he actually has a higher BAA versus lefties than righties over the course of his career.
Best Known For: He was traded from the White Sox in '06 for David Aardsama, which sucks because now the Cubs don't have the guy whose name goes first in every baseball encyclopedia. He won the "Setup Man of the Year" and helped the White Sox win the Series in '05, but has basically struggled ever since.
Scouting: He has a "deceptive delivery" with a "strong change-up and solid curve." His weakness is command and he lacks a dominant pitch. He is projected as a "decent left-handed reliever."

Jeffrey Stevens
Vital Stats: Born 1983 in Berkeley, California, right-handed
Drafted in the 6th round of 2005 by the Reds
Experience: Last year was his first year as high as AAA, but he has done well in just about every stage of his minor league career, last year posting a 3.94 ERA and 1.18 WHIP to go along with 5 saves in 19 games at AAA Buffalo.
Best Known: He's the asshole that we traded DeRosa for, so he better get up to the majors soon.
Scouting: Stevens can apparently get his split-finger up to 98 MPH. He also has a "good change." He profiles as a "solid setup man."

Luis Vizcaino
Vital Stats: Born 1974 in Baní, Dominican Republic, throws right-handed
Fun Facts: His second cousin is Jose Vizcaino, the utility infielder who of course once played for the Cubs (Are there any shitty infielders out there the Cubs haven't had?), He also got into a DUI last year, which is always fun.
Major League Debut: July 23, 1999
8th Ranked prospect for the A's in 1999, Signed as an undrafted free agent by the A's in 1994
Experience: Plenty. Unfortunately, his numbers have regressed significantly each of the last two years. Just two years ago, however he put up excellent numbers (132 ERA+, 1.22 WHIP)
Best Known For: We traded Marquis for him, which gives you an idea of the regard the Rockies had for him. He is quite a journeyman reliever, having played with the A's, Brewers, White Sox, D-Bags, Yankees, Rockies, and now Cubs over the last ten years.
Scouting: He "throws very hard" and can get out of tough spots. He gives up too many homers. Sportsnet calls him a "decent setup man or quality reliever."

Michael Wuertz
Vital Stats: Born 1978 in Austin, Minnesota, throws righthanded
Fun Fact: He may be the ugliest man I have ever seen
Major League Debut: April 5, 2004
Drafted in the 11th round of 1997 by the Cubs
Experience: He has done well whenever he's gotten a chance, however 2007 and 2005 have been his only full seasons in the majors. Last year, he was inexplicably exiled to AAA, depite posting a 123 ERA+.
Best Known For: He ain't flashy, just a dependable middle reliever who has done well for the Cubs since he was called up five years ago.
Scouting: Sportsnet says he has "flaming hot stuff." He needs rest to stay effective and is sometimes ineffective verus lefties. They call him a "decent setup option."

There you have it. Cotts, Vizcaino, and Wuertz are most likely to make the team, but Vizcaino especially might be quite a heart-attack-inducer if he continues his '08 form.

Bench Options?
Daryl Ward and Cedeno are gone. So, too, sadly, is Henry "Hank White" Blanco. Who's gonna fill these prestigious roles?

Jake Fox
Vital Stats: Born 1982 in Beech Grove, Indiana, hits right-handed
Major League Debut: July 19, 2007
Drafted in the 3rd round of 2003 by the Cubs
Experience: He's only played in 17 games in the majors. He had a breakthrough season in AAA last year, putting up a .977 OPS in 105 games. He can play first base and the outfield corners, since he was converted from catcher (which he was epically shitty at) in 2007.
Best Known For: Not much yet. He has a power bat, but probably not much else yet. It is likely that he will be fooled by big league pitching.
Scouting: He has very good power, but must improve his patience.

Koyie Hill
Vital Stats: Born 1979 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, switch hitter
Fun Fact: In 2007 he suffered a table-saw accident and had to have four of his fingers surgically reattached. After many months of therapy he was finally able to regain motion in his hand.
Major League Debut: September 5, 2003
Dodgers' 6th ranked prospect of 2003, he was drafted in the 4th round of 2000 by the Dodgers
Experience: The most games he has ever played in a major league season was 36 two years ago, when he briefly started for the Cubs. Last year, he did pretty well in AAA, posting an .841 OPS in 113 games. He is a decent fielding catcher.
Best Known For: The guy who had four fingers reattached to his fucking hand. Jesus! He was part of the whole catcher fiasco of '07 in the aftermath of the Barrett/Z scuffle.
Scouting: He is a "good hitting catcher" with "occassional power." His major flaw is his inaccurate arm and general receiving skills behind the plate. Sportsnet calls him a "solid big-league backup catcher."

Micah Hoffpauir
Vital Stats: Born 1980 in Fort Worth, Texas, left-handed
Major League Debut: May 18, 2008
Drafted by the Cubs in the 13th round of 2002
Experience: Last year he played in 33 games and was an offensive juggernaut both in the majors and in Iowa, where he posted a monster 1.145 OPS. He has improved hitting-wise each of the past three years. His fielding stats leave something to be desired however. He has experience at first, and the outfield corners.
Best Known For: He is a little too old to be a top prospect but kills the AAA pitching, putting him in a strange position. He made a big impression at the end of last year and it was probably a mistake for Lou to not put him on the playoff roster, considering how anemic our hitting was. Due to his lack of fielding skills, he is probably, at best, a bench player, however.
Scouting: He has "good power." He needs to cut down on the strike-outs. He is projected by Sportsnet as a "backup first baseman."

Those are the main options right there, unless you want to talk about Sam Fuld and Brad Snyder, and personally, I don't.

The Longshots?
Probably the most fun part of Spring Training is seeing which obscure relief pitchers or bench players (with funny names) will exceed all expectations and win the hearts of the Cubs faithful in the quest to become the 40th man. Thankfully, this year there are quite a few of them.

Esmailin Caridad
What He's Done?: He's a 25 year old Dominican who was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Cubs in '07 after spending a year (really 2 games) in Hiroshima. Last year, he spent half his time at A+ Daytona and the other half at AA West-Tenn.
Why He Has a Chance?: Well a 3.16 ERA and 1.06 WHIP in AA is a pretty good start. Plus, what a name!

Rocky Roquet
What He's Done?: He is a 26 year old from California, who was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Cubs in '06. Last year in 39 games in West Tenn he posted a 3.70 ERA and 1.38 WHIP. He also had a very nice 10 K/9.
Why He Has a Chance?: He probably doesn't but that name is even better than the first one.

Bobby Scales
What He's Done?: He was a Padres' 14th round draft pick in '99, but even though he made AAA in 2003, has yet to hit the majors.
Why He Has a Chance?: He actually had his best season ever last year, posting a .914 OPS in Iowa. He's also a switch-hitter and plays just about any position. And he's a substitute teacher during the offseason, which would make for a nice story. And did I mention his name is Bobby Scales?

Doug Deeds
What He's Done?: He was drafted in the 9th round of '02 by the Twins. He made AAA for the Twins last year, but this year with the Cubs he returned to AA.
Why He Has a Chance?: Well he did well in West Tenn, putting up .903 OPS while playing first and right field. Plus, he has a pretty good name, too. It's no Rocky Roquet, but still...


Jason Dubois
What He's Done?: We all remember him from the remarkably bad right field platoon with Todd Hollandsworth that was supposed to replace Sammy Sosa. Since then he was traded to Cleveland to Jody Gerut. Then he was with Baltimore. And now he's back with the Cubs.
Why He Has a Chance?: Well he was pretty spectacular in Iowa last year, with a 1.063 OPS. I'm just sayin'...

Then there are Darwin Barney and Welignton Castillo who have great names but shouldn't stand much of a shot. Ken Kadokura is an utterly unremarkable veteran Japanese reliever, but he is Japanese. And Mike Stanton, So Taguchi and Luis Rivas are washed-up veterans who (hopefully) won't come close to making the team.

That's the preview. Hope it was exhaustive enough for you...

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Odds and Ends After a Long Week


This past week has been far too long for my own good. I have the shittiest Fridays known to man, in which I am constantly running around, don't get lunch until 2:30 and don't get home until 10:30 in the PM. Yes that is a horrible Friday. Now enough with my bitching. Here is a look at the things I've been wanting to post but just haven't had the time for.

1. Three Instrumental Tracks that nearly blew my mind this one time...
Maybe I was just in a particular state of mind, but I was bugging out, doing work in the library while listening to these songs:

The J.B.'s
: "My Brother (Parts 1 & 2)" (Funky Good Times)
James Brown's backing band is all kinds of funky.

The Hives: "A Stroll Through Hive Manor Corridors" (The Black and White Album)
Yes, The Hives aren't particularly hip anymore, but I've always been a fan. This is my least favorite of their albums, but this instrumental is enjoyable.

Yo La Tengo: "Spec Bebop" (I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One)
This is like really good Sonic Youth, only I can actually listen to it. "Wait did he say what I..." "Slander!" "No let him speak!"

2. A couple of rap songs for the halibut

Jurassic 5: "Monkey Bars" (Quality Control)
Jurassic 5 do not get nearly enough love. You hear me, nearly! "This one is particularly good for the youngsters..."

Wu-Tang Clan: "Da Mystery of Chessboxin'"
Goddamn is this a good Wu-Tang song. I've had this stuck in my head all day. Just wanted to shout out "Raw I'm gonna give it to ya with no trivia. Raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia!"



3. America! Fuck yeah!
Oh Obama, you da Bama! Oh and also, the Rev. Joseph Lowery is officially the man. A tip of the hat to you, sir, for your rhyming ability.
Here are a couple songs for the occasion, curtesy of other blogs. You can easily scour the internet for them:

Chango Malo: "A Change Is Gonna Come"
Wow. This is one of the best covers I have ever heard. Totally passionate. They made this their own song.

Jay-Z: "My President Is Black (Remix)"
This song was written for Hova. It just never sounded quite as credible to me coming from Young Jeezy. "No more war. No more Iraq. No more white lies. The president is black!"

4. The Superbowl is next week...Everyone excited? (whimper)
Well as a sports fan, I am actually looking forward to this and will be rooting for the Cardinals. However, isn't this the same matchup we just saw in the World Series? Team from Pennsylvania versus Team that Nobody ever Imagined Making it this far. And it doesn't help that the Cardinals have about five fans not named Will Leitch. With the economy and all, this Super Bowl might have the lowest ratings in a long time.

As long as we're talking about Superbowls here, Buffalo '66 is a great movie which I highly recommend you watching before betting your life's savings on Brenda... I mean Kurt Warner winning a second Super Bowl. Vincent Gallo is both incredibly narcissistic and self-loathing at the same time, which is sometimes hard to watch, but he has some genius in him, all of which he put into this film. And he does a great job playing himself. Also, Mickey Rourke plays The Bookie. I had the impression from "the media" that Rourke had completely dropped out of film at some point in the '80s, not to return until his glorious comeback in The Wrestler. The truth is that he has actually been in at least one movie every year since 1979 (except 2007). Either way, he gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in The Wrestler. Also, the Bruce Springsteen song from the movie (also called "The Wrestler") is must-hear material.

5. The Cubs have a new owner
Named Tom Ricketts. The guy is a fan who met his wife in the Bleachers. You can find women in the Bleachers? This was the best possibility since Cuban has been indicted. Hopefully, Ricketts will make it his first order of business to trade for Jake Peavy already.

6. This article nearly made me cry
Yes, I am an unabashed Sports Guy fan. He forgoes most of his (yes, occassionally tedious) Karate Kid and Teen Wolf references here and just puts together a really well-written article on an emotional topic for him. Worth the read.

7. I installed a Stat Counter for the site
You can see it on the bottom of the screen. This thing is mad cool. It tells me that some guy in Ukraine got to the blog by looking for Lampchop pictures on Google Image. Guy from Ukraine, you were looking for the other kind of lamb chop, weren't you? (My God, that looks delicious.) It also tells me that I got my first real link on another blog. Mad props to Blair at Certain Songs for adding me to his A List. It is also somewhat humbling. If you are bothering to read any of this, then you are probably one of the few, as most of the people seem to have stumbled on this blog quite unexpectedly and decide right away that they're in the wrong place. This blog is basically for myself. Yes, I try to make it somewhat entertaining, but I haven't told any of my friends/family about the blog and don't plan to advertise it all that much. It's here. If you like it then I'm glad. I don't know where I'm going with this. That is all.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Mo' Music



Art Brut: "Moving to L.A.", "Fight" (Bang Bang Rock & Roll)
No other rock band in the last five years has attacked their music with such humor and passion. "Moving to L.A." is the sunny side of Art Brut, a cheerful sing-a-long about moving to LA from dreary England to drink Hennessy with Morrissey. "Fight" is the tongue-in-cheek drunken, hooligan side, about getting drink and picking fights for the fun of it. They're coming out with a new album in 2009, Art Brut vs. Satan, which I will be sure to pick up.

Talking Heads: "Happy Day" (Talking Heads: 77)
This is one of the first albums that I loved. I used to listen to it on vinyl when I was six or seven years old and, much to my mother's horror, scream out the lyrics to "Psycho Kiler." This is a sweet song by the New York art punks.

Desmond Dekker: "Live and Learn" (Anthology 1963-1999)
Desmond Dekker was the first reggae crossover sensation, before Bob Marley ever came on the scene. He was especially influential in England, where bands like The Clash took notice of him.

Dirty on Purpose: "No Radio" (Hallelujah Sirens)
Sadly this band has broken up after recording only this one album, which I strongly recommend.

Black Sheep: "Similak Child" (A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing)
Black Sheep have been overlooked when discussing great early-90s rap groups. This album should be ranked as high as anything by A Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul. According to Urban Dictionary, a "similak child" is "A girl that was raised on artificial breast milk and thus received optimum nutrients and a bad ass booty. "

Elliott Smith: "Waltz #2" (XO)
One of the greatest geniuses of pop music. There is nothing more heartbreaking than an Elliott Smith song.

Billy Bragg & Wilco: "Hesitating Beauty" (Mermaid Avenue)
This is a great album of unrecorded Woody Guthrie covers. Recommended for fans of Wilco, Guthrie, or good music.

PJ Harvey: "This Is Love" (Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea)
"I can't believe life's so complex
When I just wanna' sit here and watch you undress"
Makes sense.

Mass Hysteria: "Donnez-vous la peine" (Le bien-être et la paix)
I picked this up in Paris. This is from commenter Elvis on the French amazon.com:
Quel claque ! Ce disque est un des meilleurs du genre. Les compos et les textes s'adressent vraiment aux jeunes comme moi. Enfin un groupe qui me ressemble.
Euromotion: "Don't Tell Me Your Name" (Euromotion Is Coming)
I heard this song randomly; my friend's girlfriend left a mix in his car that included this. Fucking hilarious song. "The time window Otto! Hurry!"

Sway: "Up Your Speed" (This Is My Demo)
This guy has a ridiculous flow. Great British rap anthem.

My Morning Jacket: "I'm Amazed" (Evil Urges)
I'm amazed at how damn good MMJ is. I don't care what anyone says. I like their new stuff.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Cubs Trade Pie

Pie was always a promising player for the Cubs. He had power, speed, athleticism. He was the best centerfielder the Cubs had in ages. Last year he was finally given a shot in the big leagues and, any way you look at it, he didn't produce. Maybe he needed more playing time. Maybe he just needed a few more years in the minors. Pie is still only 23. But the Cubs gave up on him and have sent him to the O's, where such Cubs rejects as Sammy Sosa and Corey Patterson have turned up. Pie was different from those two malcontents. He loves baseball which was evident on one of the few occasions when he did something right and smiled real big. The good news here is that, perhaps, this trade has something to do with acquiring Peavy. Apparently, the pitcher we got from the O's, Garrett Olson, had been agressively purusued by the Padres. I'm sure the Padres would want more than just Olson, but if there is any conceivable way to get Peavy, the Cubs have to do it. A rotation of Peavy, Harden, Zambrano, Dempster and Lilly is nearly making me jizz in my pants right now.

Another List of Songs w/ 2 downloads (Hometown Edition)

Lykke Li: "I'm Good, I'm Gone" (Youth Novels)
Lykke Li hails from the town of Ystad in southern Sweden, home of the Franciscan convent Gråbrödraklostret. Ystad is also the home to two professional handball teams.

Black Kids: "I'm Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance with You (The Twelves Remix)" (Wizard of Ahhhs EP)
The Black Kids were formed in Jacksonville, Florida. And, shit, Jacksonville is the largest city in Florida? How did that happen? Jacksonville is also the third largest city on the east coast after New York and Philly. I am officially dumbfounded. What is Jacksonville's draw exactly? Well it is home to the Jacksonville Jam. Named after Space Jam? Jacksonville is near the Georgia border and votes overwhelming Republican. So don't blame the Jewish old ladies. Blame the 800,000 dumbasses from Jacksonville. Jacksonville is the headquarters of southern supermarket Winn-Dixie, which I know of because of that book Because of Winn-Dixie with the cute dog.

Cut Copy: "Feel the Love" (In Ghost Colours)
Cut Copy come from Melbourne, Australia, ancestral home to the Wurundjeri and Bunurong aborigines. Melbourne was discovered by John Batman. John Batman! Melbourne had a population of 177 less than 250 years ago. Now it is home to nearly 4 Million.

Franco & le Tpok Jazz: "Bolingo ya bougie" (Francophonic, Vol. 1: 1973-1980)
Franco grew up in Kinshasa (then Leopodville) in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The two main spoken languages of Kinshasa are French and Lingala. Kinshasa was the site of the Rumble in the Jungle between Ali and Foreman. The name was changed to Kinshasa by Zaire's (then the name for the country) president Mobutu Sese Seko, who used to dress like this. The coldest month in Konshasa is July when temperatures range between 64 and 81. It is also the home of Dikembe Mutumbo, world famous finger-wagger.

White Lies: "E.S.T." (To Lose My Life)
White Lies were formed in Ealing, a suburb of London. Ealing is a pretty boring place except for the fact that it is home to the famous Ealing film studios where The Ladykillers, Kind Hearts and Coronets and Monty Python were filmed, making Ealing the birthplace of British comedy and for that I thank you, otherwise boring British suburb. Quite a few great musicians come from Ealing, including Pete Townshend, Dusty Springfield, and Mitch Mitchell (of the Jimi Hendrix Experience).

Sparklehorse: "King of Nails" (It's a Wonderful Life)
Sparklehorse were formed in Richmond, Virginia. Richmond is where that little "Give me liberty or the death" speech was made.

The Pixies: "Head On" (Trompe le Monde)
The Pixies come from Bahh-ston, Mass, home of a certain Tea Party that made our British colonizers all grumpy. What, the crumpets weren't to your liking Lord Frankfort? What douches. Then there was the Boston Massacre, a slight exaggeration since only 3 people were killed. I mean that doesn't really put it in the running with the Rwandan or Armenian massacres. For shame, Boston.

Frantic Clam: "We Own the Night" (Anatomica)
Frantic Clam are big in the Austin, Texas indie scene. Austin is the bastion of liberalism and general weirdness inside of the Big Bad Amerrican Republic of Texas. Willie Nelson and Matthew McConaughey were born in Austin. That should give you a good idea of what Austin is like.

Belle & Sebastian: "The Boy with the Arab Strap" (The Boy with the Arab Strap)
B&S are from Glasgow, Scotland. The Glasgow dialect is known as Glasgow Patter. In the UK, a headbutt is known as a Glasgow kiss, but in Glasgow a headbutt is actually called a stookie.

Evidence ft. Phonte, Blu and Will.i.am: "For Whom the Bell Tolls" (The Layover)
Evidence is from Venice Beach, LA. Venice was home to Jim Morrison, Wavy Gravy and the original Gold's Gym. So Venice is famous for 'roids and hippies, hopefully not hippies on steroids. The Dude lives in Venice in the Big Lebowski, inspiration for this blog.

M. Ward: "Rave On" (Hold Time)
M. Ward is also a Californian, hailing from Newbury Park, an affluent LA suburb. Newbury Park was a "planned community," created by the Janss Corporation. Its median home value is 730,000. Fuck you Newbury and your planned, gated communtiy.

Emiliana Torrini: "Jungle Drum" (Me and Armini)
Emiliana is from Kópavogur, Iceland's second largest city with a population of 30,000. The literal translation of Kópavagur is Seal Pup Bay. How adorable.

The Knife: "One Hit" (Silent Shout)
The Knife are based in Stockholm, Sweden. In the Stockholm Massacre of 1520 King Christian II of Denmark invaded Sweden and killed 80-90 Swedish notables. This led to general animosity between the two Nordic nations. But they found it too cold to do much other than stare gloomily at eachother.

Bob Dylan: "Visions of Johanna" (Blonde on Blonde)
Dylan was born in Duluth, Minnesota. Duluth is home to the largest Finnish population outside of Finland.

Hüsker Dü: "One Step at a Time" (Zen Arcade)
Hüsker Dü are also from Minnesota, in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area. The rivalry between the two "twin cities" was so intense that for the 1890 census, representatives of both cities kidnapped census takers to prevent one city from outranking the other and in the 1960s, the cities could not agree on a shared time zone so Minneapolis was briefly one hour ahead of St. Paul.

Hot Hot Heat: "In Cairo" (Make up the Breakdown)
Hot Hot Heat are from Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. Victoria hosted the 2005 World Curling Championship, which has also been held in Duluth and Glasgow. Good music and curling go together apparently. Victoria is also known for its large population of retirees and the homeless.

Talking Heads: "Love/Building on Fire" (MCMLXXXIII)
Talking Heads come from New York City, which I've heard has a fair share of attractions. Did you know the Ramapough Mountain Indians live near New York City in northern New Jersey and southern New York. It was long debated whether they are actually Native Americans, runaway slaves, or simply uneducated hillbillys. It appears that they are actually Indians, however.

Animal Collective: "For Reverend Green" (Strawberry Jam)
Animal Collective are from Baltimore, Maryland AKA Bodymore, Murdaland. Truly, Baltimore has a horrible crime rate, the second highest of all US cities, although it has progressed since 1993 when there were 353 reported homicides, a fairly ridiculous number. I am currently obsessed with The Wire, which details just how fucked up Baltimore is. The fact that The Wire is Obama's favorite TV show and his favorite character is Omar gives me some hope for the next four years.

Fleet Foxes: "Mykonos" (2008-11-21 Den Haag, The Netherlands)
Fleet Foxes come from Seattle, a city that is currently experiencing the worst sports year ever. The Super Sonics left for Oklahoma City and became the Thunder. I think. The Mariners and Seahawks both had dreadful years, managing to fall well bellow any reasonable expectations. On the plus side, there is the Seattle Hempfest to look forward to.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Shit I've Been Jamming to Lately

Madvillain: "Strange Ways" (Madvillainy)
I'm a huge fan of MF Doom and just about anything he's done. This is probably my favorite of his projects, which are numerous (KMD, Viktor Vaughn, King Geedorah, Danger Doom, Metal Fingers...). This is an almost scary song, but the tension is relieved by an interlude from a 1950s cartoon called Symphony in Slang (thanks Wikipedia).

Stiff Little Fingers: "Rough Trade" (Inflammable Material)
A very righteous, angry song from everyone's favorite north Irish punk group.

PJ Harvey: "C'mon Billy" (To Bring You My Love)
Does anyone really blame Billy? PJ Harvey is terrifying.

Yoko Kanno & the Seatbelts: "Rush" (Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack)
This is from the anime Cowboy Bebop. Great cheesy Japanese jazz.

Beulah: "Silver Lining" (The Coast Is Never Clear)
"Punk rock was my first girl/She left me a scar so I have her still." Awesome. Beulah was the perfect indie group.

A Tribe Called Quest: "What?" (The Low End Theory)
Everything good about hip hop is in this song.

Incubus: "Deep Inside" (S.C.I.E.N.C.E.)
Incubus has this stigma around them about being one of the nu-metal groups. But actually their early stuff was quite strange and good and not at all nu-metal. This is a jazz-y song with an interlude of pure headbanging about finding oneself deep in the ghetto.

Ghostface Killah: "9 Milli Bros." (Fishscale)
This one actually samples an MF Doom track, "Fenugreek." Ghostface calls this the "official Wu Tang headbanger." This song is worthy of that title.

The Thermals: "Back to the Sea" (The Body, The Blood, The Machine)
"Not me. I'm gonna crawl. I'm gonna crawl. I'm gonna crawl. Back to the sea." I'm going to un-evolve. I like that idea. It would solve some of our problems.

Sea & Cake: "Jacking the Ball" (Sea and Cake)
A little indie ditty. Lovely tune.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Playlist of the Fortnight: It's Going to Be a Good Year

Nas: "Get Down (Quantic Soul Orchestra Mix)"
The original here is off of God's Son. A fairly unheralded Nas single, still better than just about anything else out there. Quantic Soul Orchestra add the funk.

Jay-Z ft. Nas: "Success" (American Gangster Bonus Tracks)
This track alone is worth paying for the expanded album.

Charles Wright & the Watts 103rd St. Rhythm Band: "Express Yourself (Alt. Take)" (Puckey Puckey: Jams and Outtakes, 1970-1971)
This is a raw version of the classic. Pure passion.

Wild Billy Childish and the Musicians of the British Empire: "He's Making a Tape" (Thatcher's Children)
A great little rock & roll ditty. Made by the man with that mustache.

Bob and Earl: "Harlem Shuffle"
The original, later covered by Booker T. & The MG's, as well as the Rolling Stones. You also might recognize the beginning from "Jump Around." This is how music should sound.

Wu Tang Clan w/ Isaac Hayes: "I Can't Go to Sleep" (The W)
Proving that Isaac Hayes should definitively be forgiven for all Scientology-related transgressions. He just has an out-of-this-world voice. Check out the video, courtesy of my favorite new procrastination tool, MTV's video database.


Muja Messiah ft. I-Self Devine: "Patriot Act" (Thee Adventures of a B-Boy D-Boy)
Found this on one of my favorite blogs, Minneapolis Fucking Rocks, in their section on the best Minneapolis music in the last year. Who knew there was such good hip-hop in Minnesota? Hell, I didn't know there were any black people up there. Anyway, nice job Minneapolis.

The Strange Boys- "Drugs Iggy Drugs"
I can tell you very little about this group except that they're from Austin, Texas and that the song is amazingly as good as its title.

Belle & Sebastian: "Pocketbook Angel"
Basically the best pop song ever. Hopefully someday they'll release a non-scratchy version of this. Although, the imperfection does add some charm to it.

Of Montreal: "St. Exquisite's Confessions" (Skeletal Lamping)
Of Montreal are gleefully strange and I like that. "I'm so sick of sucking the dick of this cruel cruel city..."

Santogold: "Shove It" (Santogold)
"We think you're a joke/Shove your hope where it don't shine" Is Santogold telling Obama to shove it? Either way this is a killer pop song.

Apples in Stereo: "Same Old Drag" (New Magnetic Wonder Bonus Tracks)
Another song from an album that I bought in its original form (minus the bonus). This is the best song on the album. Why do you torture me like this Apples in Stereo?

Soko: "I'll Kill Her" (Not Sokute)
Sorry Soko, but you're fucking adorable. And how could anyone break this poor French girl's heart. That's like killing a puppy dog. This song reminds me of Be Your Own Pet's "Becky" (in my Best of '08 list. The only difference is that "Becky" makes me genuinely frightened, whereas "I'll Kill Her" just makes me want to comfort Soko, pauvre chèrie.

Lil Wayne ft. Pharrell: "Yes"
We're only two weeks into 2009 and already we have a killer (and I mean killer) anthem. Go find this song right now if you haven't heard it already. This makes me want to go out in my car with the stereo at full blast and my windows down. And I know its 20 degrees out.

Incredible Bongo Band: "Apache" (Bongo Rock)
The so-called National Anthem of Hip Hop, sampled by everyone from DJ Kool Herc to the Sugarhill Gang to the Roots and Nas. It's a goddamn great song on its own too.

Notorious B.I.G. (Ratatat Remix): "Party and Bullshit" (Remixes Vol. II)
It's taken me a while to get into Ratatat, but I have to admit, this is a genius remix.

The Kooks: "All That She Wants" (Radio 1 Established 1967)
This is a cover of the Ace of Base song, yeah the Swedish technopop group. But the Kooks manage to make it totally badass.


The Virgins
: "Love Is Colder Than Death" (The Virgins)
If I was going to revise my '08 list, this one would make it. A truly classic-sounding pop song.

The Walkmen: "In the New Year" (You & Me)
With more music like this, yes it will be a good year!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Milton Bradley to the Cubs: Good Move?

















After another humiliating collapse in the playoffs, getting swept in the first round after achieving the best record in the NL during the regular season, the Cubs were dead to me. Well, maybe not, but at least I haven't been following their offseason moves quite as fervently as I usually do. Well, they've finally sucked me in with this Bradley deal.

The Cubs have undergone quite a makeover this offseason. Let's review:
Gone: Kerry Wood, Mark DeRosa, Hank White, Jason Marquis
The New Guys: Kevin Gregg, Aaron Miles, Paul Bako, Milton Bradley

Well Jason Marquis AKA "The Big Creplach" deserved the boot, but Hank White was a fan favorite and surprisingly good backup catcher, and Wood and DeRo were basically the heart and soul of last year's team; Wood was the same old Kid K, who obviously loved being a Cub and was a pretty scary closer (and for once, it was scary for the other team), and DeRosa played a bajillion positions really well and was a great guy all around.

Bako has returned. I remember him well and not fondly.
Miles, who is in effect, replacing DeRosa, had a fairly respectable OPS+ of 99 last year, but has averaged only 83 over the last 3 years. Compare that to DeRosa, whose OPS+ has been over 100 each of the last three years and this is looking like a pretty poor exchange. Miles is only a year younger than DeRo so he probably isn't going to be improving much and he really only plays second base and shortstop whereas DeRo had extensive experience at second, third, right field, left field and shortstop. Miles, if anything, is a slightly worse defender too. So that kind of sucked.
The Gregg for Wood tradeoff is pretty shitty as well. Gregg is also only a year younger than Wood and had worse stats in ERA, WHIP, and SVs last season. Sounds like the same old Cubs that I've loved usually for worse my whole life.
Now there's Bradley who the Cubs just signed to the tune of 3 years and 30 mil. Bradley is awesome when he's healthy. He had an OPS+ of 163 last year which is pretty ridiculous. The only problem is, he's barely ever healthy. Last year was only the third time in his nine seasons in the big leagues that he's played in 100 games. He also has a notorious anger problem. Examples of this include tearing his ACL, which effectively ended the Dodgers '07 season, while arguing balls and strikes with the first base umpire, and, last year, trying to confront Royals announcer Ryan Lefebvre. Seriously? The Kansas City Royals announcer? Why, man? Anyway, this could turn out to be quite a shitty move for the Cubs, whose luck hasn't exactly been stellar over the past, oh, hundred years. Then again, the biggest reason the Cubs got swept in the postseason was that they didn't have a bat that could carry them in the playoffs. Bradley, in case you're wondering, is hitting .310/.383/.667 in 42 postseason at-bats. So, I guess, you never know.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Neckbeard and Sexy Rexy: The Travails of the Chicago Bears Quarterbacks

After another ultimately disappointing season for my beloved Bears, I am left with the question, why can we never get a decent quarterback? 2005 was the beginning of the Grossman-Orton era in Chicago. This has been a period filled with alternately mediocre, inadequate, and bizarre play from the quarterback position. Both Grossman and Orton have possibly had their on-field play negatively affected by Chicago nightlife. Grossman famously said that he had been too distracted by New Years festivities to focus on the game against Green Bay. That game he only threw for 33 yards with 3 interceptions, including 2 TAINTs. In other words, it was one of the worst conceivable games a quarterback could ever play. Meanwhile, the second hit when you type Kyle Orton into Google is "kyle orton drunk." There are dozens of photos of an obviously inebriated Orton with women and booze in bars around Chicago.
This year Orton was ranked the 25th best quarterback in the league, which did mark improvement from his first season as Bears starter (2005) when he was ranked 34th. Since 2005, the best performance by a Bears quarterback was Brian Griese as the 23rd best last season. To give an idea of how bad Bears quarterbacks have been, here are a few of the illustrious QBs that have been ranked better than them in the last few years: J.J. Harrington (twice), Brooks Bollinger, Gus Frerotte, Josh McCown, Alex Smith, David Carr (twice), Sage Rosenfels, Damon Huard, Seneca Wallace. The Bears haven't had a top-10 passer in the last decade. How many other teams have done the same? Just two: The Baltimore Ravens and the Cleveland Browns. And only the Browns have a similarly hopeless situation, with the Ravens riding the promising rookie Joe Flacco to the playoffs this year. Any time your team can only be compared to the Browns, you're in trouble.
This is a truly horrible situation which has been left unadressed by the Bears for years. The last time the Bears made a real effort to get a franchise quarterback was when they drafted Grossman in '03. After five more seasons of futility, I'd say it's time to think about starting over. If the Bears can't draft a good quarterback like Atlanta and Baltimore have done recently, they should consider trading for a veteran like (hmm...) Donovan McNabb, who is undoubtedly unhappy about getting benched for half a game earlier this season and (if I were him anyway) is tired of Andy Reid's notorious inability to manage the clock. C'mon Bears management, now is the time to get our first decent quarterback since...Sid Luckman!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Manhattan Murder Mystery

Happy '09! I was actually watching this when the year changed and I'm not at all sad that I missed seeing the ball drop. It's a somewhat neglected but highly recommended Woody Allen film. This was one of his many homages to New York, as well as to Hitchcock movies. And if you're thinking Woody Allen can't do Hitchcock, he actually pulls it off surprisingly well. It helps that he has a great cast. Angelica Huston is perfect for her role as a writer with sex appeal who teaches Allen how to play poker and is constantly chain smoking. Jerry Adler is really quite good as the stamp-collecting neighbor who turns out to be a devious murderer. Adler is a true "that guy" actor, who always does well in bit roles. He played Hersh Rabkin (Tony's Jewish adviser) on the Sopranos. Zach Braff actually made his debut in Manhattan Murder Mystery as Allen and Diane Keaton's son. If you're a fan of Allen movies then I recommend this one. It holds its own as both a Allen film with his brilliant-as-usual dialogue and as a mystery. The movie opens with a fantastic song, "I Happen to Like New York" by Cole Porter, as performed by Bobby Short.
Grade: B+